


Your Friendly Neighborhood Drug Addict/Superhero

by brionylarkin



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drug Abuse, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pre-Canon, Trans Character, klaus is the gay guru, not nearly as dark as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22902943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brionylarkin/pseuds/brionylarkin
Summary: Klaus makes some questionable decisions that end up being helpful, Ben is long-suffering, and Diego is taking a chance.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Original Character(s)
Comments: 29
Kudos: 184





	Your Friendly Neighborhood Drug Addict/Superhero

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is anymore. What's the plot, you ask? I don't know, but Klaus does make some friends and do some things, so there's that.

Klaus is pretty sure he’s been lying in this gutter for… two years now? He knows every crack in the gratings, every chip in the concrete. He’s memorized the ingredients on the empty chip bag crumbled up beside him. It’s been a while.

“It’s been five minutes,” mutters an annoyed Ben standing over him. He crosses his arms. “Do you know you’re talking out loud?”

Klaus blinks up at him, eyes feeling wider than they should. How wide are eyes supposed to go? He tries to make them bigger, but has to stop when a tear trickles down his cheek. Is he crying or are his eyes watering? It’s hard to tell but he knows he’s forgotten whatever he was going to say to Ben.

It’s several hours more of Ben’s disapproving glare that Klaus feels sober enough to move, which means he needs to go get more drugs. 

“Why don’t you let it wear off?” says a determined Ben dogging his footsteps down the alley. “There’s only three ghosts here right now. It’s the quietest it’ll ever be. Take advantage of it.”

“Three ghosts too many, my darling brother!” Klaus grins and throws his arms out, spinning slowly as he walks. 

He comes to a stumbling halt and nearly falls when a soft whimper comes from behind the nearest dumpster. Klaus exchanges wide eyes with Ben. He tilts his head, listening hard, but whatever made the noise has since gone silent. Cautiously, he creeps forward to pop his head around the dumpster. 

The scrappy teenager hiding there lets out a muffled cry and jumps nearly three feet in the air. Klaus leaps backwards in surprise.

“Holy shit!” he yells. The teenager (which is being generous, as the kid is thirteen at the absolute most) shrinks back but makes no attempt to run or scream. This is a huge warning sign for Klaus who has been living on and off the streets for years now. Kids don’t accept dangerous strangers in their space unless they have nothing to lose. And nothing really means  _ nothing _ .

Klaus eyes the kid and seriously considers just walking away. What can he do for one scared kid? It’s only Ben’s large worried eyes that stop him. God, but he can’t deny his brother anything with those eyes (except him getting sober, maybe). 

“Are you--are you okay?” he asks, probably sounding more strung out than he actually is. “Do you need… help or whatever?” 

The kid stares at Klaus for a long, hard minute before seemingly finding  _ something _ trustworthy about him because they slowly uncurl, revealing a purpling bruise in the shape of a hand print on their arm. Something about the sight simultaneously makes Klaus want to burn the world down and coo over this literal child caught up in something horrible.

Instead of either of those things, he hisses in sympathy. “That looks pretty bad, kid.” The kid sniffles and wipes their nose with their other hand. 

“I know where a free clinic is,” Klaus offers. “I could give you directions?” The kid shakes their head of dirty blonde curls, seemingly unwilling to move from the alleyway.

“Offer to walk with them,” hisses Ben from a safe distance. The last thing the kid needs is to walk through a cold spot.

“I could… walk with you?” Klaus says and the kid seems to seriously consider it before nodding slowly. Klaus stands up and brushes the front of his jeans off. At Ben’s prompting, he holds out a hand to help the kid up. 

They hold Klaus’ gaze for a moment before letting him pull them to their feet, remaining upright through sheer force of will, apparently. Klaus pretends not to notice the way they lean on his shoulder.

“What’s your name?” Klaus asks after a moment of walking. “I should probably call you something other than ‘kid’ in my head, y’know?” 

The kid smiles shyly at him. “Ramona,” they say. 

“Can I ask what happened to you?” Klaus lowers his voice, ready to back off the moment Ramona seems uncomfortable. They look down at their feet.

“My dad,” they whisper. “I told him I wanted to use they/them pronouns and he lost it. Hurt my arm. Kicked me out.” They look up at Klaus, who is alarmed to see tears filling their eyes. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey, kid,” Klaus stops walking to pull Ramona into a hug. They cling to him, obviously starved for affection. “It’s gonna be okay. We’ll go down to the police station, okay? My brother’s in the police academy. He’ll help us out.” Ramona nods into his shoulder.

It’s soon after that, as the two of them are steadily making their way towards the police station, that they’re accosted by a man running towards them on the street.

“Ramona!” he slurs, obviously shitfaced. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Ramona darts into the nearest alleyway in a dead sprint. The man, presumably their father, stumbles after them, yelling obscenities all the while. Klaus watches them get farther away and realizes he has a decision to make. He could walk away or…

“Go after them, you idiot!” Ben shrieks in his ear, but Klaus is already moving. As high as he currently is, he has youth on his side and he easily catches up to the man. 

“Eat shit, motherfucker!” Klaus yells as he tackles him. They crash to the ground and Klaus shoves the man’s face into the concrete. The man lets out an angry roar, but drunk as he is, is unable to get to his feet with Klaus on his back. 

“Who the hell are you?” he mumbles into the ground. 

“Your worst nightmare,” Klaus can’t resist growling into his ear. He’s surprised to find that he’s grinning ear-to-ear. “You leave that kid alone, okay?”

“That’s my kid!” the man says. “I’ll do whatever the fuck I want.”

“You wouldn’t want anyone finding out about…” Klaus turns to the pretty blonde ghost that was following the man around. “What’s your name?” 

She looks startled but answers easily enough. “Samantha McKinnon.”

“We wouldn’t want anyone to find out what happened to poor Samantha McKinnon, would we?” Klaus says. The man’s face goes white so quick, Klaus is surprised he doesn’t pass out. 

“H-How do you know about that?” he whispers, suddenly deathly quiet.

Klaus tuts. “Four, no, five stab wounds in her stomach? Such a horrible way to go, don’t you think?” He can feel the man beginning to shake.

The man gets to his feet when Klaus allows him to and stumbles off, promising to never touch Ramona again. 

The minute he stumbles around the next corner, Ramona is out of the doorway they were hiding in and hugging Klaus around the waist. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” they cry into his shirt. Klaus awkwardly pats their back, ignoring Ben’s smug look with practiced ease. 

“There, there, uh, sweetheart,” he says. “He can’t touch you again.”

Ramona nods and straightens up. “Can we go to the police now?”

Klaus nods. “Of course.”

Diego isn’t at the police station, but Ramona is still able to file a report with Klaus holding their hand. He’s recorded as a witness, which is probably the first time ‘Klaus Hargreeves’ has been portrayed in a positive light in a police report.

Ramona is almost immediately assigned to a temporary foster home while they search for relatives. Klaus barely gets to say goodbye before they’re being whisked off to the hospital to get the arm checked out. 

Klaus even gets a good night’s sleep out of it. He spends long enough kicking his heels on the steps of the police station that everyone starts to leave, including the cop who interviewed him.

“C’mon, man,” he says, nudging Klaus with his foot. “I figured it was something like this.”

“Something like what?” Klaus mutters, slightly out of it on pain medicine he found in his pocket. 

“That you were probably homeless, Hargreeves,” the cop says. “Let’s go. You can crash at my place. It’s the least I can do for you, with what you did for that little girl.”

“Not a girl,” says Klaus, sitting up. “And how do I know I can trust you. Stranger danger and all that!”

“My name’s Peter,” the cop says, smiling. “That good enough?” 

Klaus shrugs. “Probably.” He jumps up. “Let’s go, cop man!” Peter laughs and leads Klaus around the back to his car. 

Long story short, Klaus sleeps with the cop. He assumes that’s the end of the matter. But, it’s not. 

They come to him in fits and starts. First it’s Ramona dragging a foster sister around the city until they find Klaus eating a sandwich on the library steps.

“Klaus!” they call from the bottom. Klaus turns, gesturing to himself in confusion. Ramona’s eyes light up and they wave to him. Hesitantly, Klaus waves back. 

“This is Harley,” they say when they finally reach him. “She’s in the same foster home as me.” The girl is red-headed and maybe sixteen or seventeen? Klaus isn’t great with ages.

“Hi?” Klaus says, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s up?”

“I can’t believe they came back,” says Ben from behind Klaus. He pokes his hand through Klaus’ chest. “You must be getting less repulsive.” Klaus twitches but keeps himself from responding. 

“I wanted to say thank you,” says Ramona, smiling. “So, we…” They open their backpack and pull out a container. “Made you some brownies.”

“Oh, hell yeah!” Klaus can’t stop himself from saying. He grins at Ramona. “Oh my god, you’re the best.” He cracks the container open and grabs a brownie, immediately shoving half of one into his mouth. He moans. “Holy shit, this is so good.” Ramona laughs.

“Did you make these?” Klaus asks, crumbs covering his mouth.

“I did,” says Harley, a proud look on her face. 

“You go, girl!” says Klaus. “I love your bracelets, by the way.” He gestures to her gay pride bracelets. “The gays can truly do anything, including cooking.”

“Technically, it’s baking,” says Harley. “I like your skirt. Is that a pride flag?” She gestures to his knee length skirt, colored pink, yellow, and blue. 

“Oh, danke.” Klaus runs the skirt material through his fingers. “And yeah, it’s the pansexual flag.” 

“That’s so cool!” Harley is practically vibrating. “I’ve got a couple of friends who are pansexual. You should meet them.”

“If you bring me more brownies, I’ll meet whoever you want.” Klaus laughs. They talk for another hour, before the kids have to go home. 

A few days later, Klaus gets picked up by the police again. Peter isn’t there and neither is Diego (though Klaus isn’t expecting him to be), so it’s a kind but professional officer named Brooks that Klaus has encountered several times before who brings him in. It’s not possession this time (thank god; prison was bad enough the first time), just public intoxication. He might’ve peed on a cop, but he doesn’t remember.

Anyway, Klaus is stuck in court-mandated rehab for a full thirty days. It sucks. There are so many ghosts in any given medical facility, but the ones in rehab are always particularly bad. 

“Can’t you leave me alone?” Klaus groans into his pillow. He can barely hear himself think over the constant screaming of the eyeless woman behind him. 

She just shrieks louder.

“Who are you talking to, Klaus?” asks Brian, the nosy guy bunking below Klaus.

“Just a hallucination,” mutters Klaus, turning his head to the side for air. His eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep. Brian doesn’t interpret it that way. 

“Hey.” He leans in close. His breath smells like cheap coffee. “Did you sneak something in? I won’t tell if you give me a little bit, promise.”

“Fuck off, Brian.”

Brian pulls back with a huff. “I’m trying to help you, man.” He flops back down on his bed. There’s a moment of silence. “Y’know, you can get in big trouble, having something in here.”

Klaus just groans, long and loud. “I didn’t take anything! You think I’d be this miserable if I had? Just leave me alone.” He rolls over and pulls his pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut in an effort to block out the screaming. “Shut up, shut up, shut up.”

Brian mumbles something unkind in the bed below him. The bedsprings groan as he adjusts himself. 

In another world, Klaus will ignore whatever bullshit his roommate is spouting. Eventually, he will fall asleep and, in the morning, the screaming ghost will be gone. He will suffer through the next twenty-five days with bleeding ears and horrible nightmares. He will get high the moment he’s released. 

In this world, Klaus is just a little more sober and a little more pissed off. He hears what Brian says. 

“You know what, Brian?” Klaus says, darkly amused and barely over a whisper. He knows Brian can hear him. “I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you have a shadow.”

“The fuck?” Brian says, sitting up and tapping Klaus’s foot where it’s hanging off the bed. “What’re you on, Hargreeves?”

“I don’t know her name,” Klaus continues without turning to face Brian. “But she’s a short woman. Too young for what happened to her, or, at least, too young looking. She was… what? Sixteen? Seventeen, maybe?”

“What?” 

“When she died.” Klaus finally sits up, staring Brian right in the eye. “She was wearing a red tube top and a short skirt and heels.” He laughs, slightly crazed from lack of sleep and withdrawal. “Clubbing clothes. It’s a cute outfit, I’ll give her that. But you can imagine what happened to her. Or.” He cocks his head to the side in thought. “Did you do it?”

Brian looks up at Klaus, all trace of a smile gone. “How the fuck do you know any of that?”

“She’s following you around, I told you.” Klaus rolls his eyes and turns to the poor girl. “He really doesn’t listen, does he?” She doesn’t respond, just stares back at him with her big sad eyes. Klaus gestures to the bruises, the slit throat, the black eye. “He do this to you?”

Her gaze is blank and very much dead, but her slow nod is answer enough. 

Klaus growls. “You fucking bastard.” And he attacks.

Later, after the nurses pull him off of a barely conscious Brian and move them both to different rooms—Klaus to solitary and Brian to the more medical side of the building—Klaus laughs to himself. 

“We really showed him, huh, Ben?” he rasps, wiping blood from his split lip. It doesn’t do more than spread it across his face. “Damn, I’m gonna have a lot to talk about in group tomorrow. If they even let me out for it, that is.”

In the corner, Ben gives Klaus a disappointed glare, but even he can’t keep his eyes off the too small girl who followed them into the room. She’s smiling, probably for the first time since she died. 

“You doing okay?” Klaus asks her, genuine concern in his voice as she lowers her body to sit on the ground, cross legged. The position makes her look even younger and it breaks Klaus’s heart. 

He doesn’t need to worry. As he watches, the girl reaches a hand up to gently trace the dark wound on her throat. Her knuckles are bloody. She gives Klaus a genuinely happy smile and then she’s gone, faded away to nothing. 

Ben sucks in a sharp breath. “Did she just..?”

“Pass on?” Klaus says, dumbstruck. “I-I think so. If only every ghost was that easy to get rid of.”

In the morning, Klaus lies to his therapist, making up some bullshit about Brian confessing to the rape and murder of a teenage girl. The therapist’s lips thin and she can obviously tell he’s lying, but promises to have Brian interviewed by an officer anyway.

Under the pressure, Brian cracks and confesses to everything. Apparently, there was more than one girl, too. He’s quickly arrested.

The counselors look at Klaus differently after that, right up until he’s released. By then, Klaus has had enough of their weird looks and vows to avoid this particular facility in the future. 

He all but skips outside, not watching where he’s going, preoccupied with transferring his things from the plastic bag he was given to his pockets. There’s practically nothing, so it goes quickly. Klaus stuffs the bag into the nearest trash can, turns around, and runs straight into Diego. 

“Ah, mein bruder!” Klaus exclaims when he realizes. He throws his arms up in the air. “Have you come to congratulate me on my new lease on life?”

“What?” Diego screws his stern face up in obvious confusion. 

“I’ve just been released from rehab!” Klaus says. “I’m a new man now.”

Diego just rolls his eyes. “Klaus, we both know you’re barely resisting the urge to go find drugs right now. Don’t kid yourself.”

Klaus scoffs. “Well, fine, then, if that’s all you wanted.” He starts to walk away, but Diego grabs his shirt collar and pulls him back. 

“We need to talk,” Diego growls in a tone that would probably be intimidating if he and Klaus hadn’t been in diapers together. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Klaus mumbles, dragging his feet. Diego doesn’t let that stop him as he quickly pulls his brother into a nearby diner. Klaus claps his hands in glee when he realizes he’ll be getting food out of the encounter. 

“I thought you didn’t like using your powers,” Diego starts as soon as Klaus is halfway through a waffle.

Klaus looks up, mouth full. “What?”

Diego hands him a napkin and continues. “I was there when they interviewed Brian Taylor about the murders. He claimed you knew something about one of his victims. The other cop took it as crazy ramblings, but not me.”

“Okay, so I scared him a little,” Klaus says, leg bouncing all of the sudden. “Is that a crime now?”

“No, but…” Diego examines Klaus’s face, then softens his tone. “You hate your powers, Klaus. I know that’s why you do drugs.” He holds up a hand when Klaus tries to protest. “Don’t! I’ve known for a while now and it sucks, bro. It does. But you look good. You haven’t taken anything for a month and you’ve  _ just _ shown how useful your abilities can be. Now would be a good time to get sober.”

Klaus makes a noncommittal noise and starts to look kind of cagey. Diego can tell he’s losing him and he casts around for a distraction. 

That distraction comes in the form of three teenagers beelining their way towards Klaus and Diego. They make an odd bunch. There’s a short one with a cast on their lower arm, a  _ very  _ tall girl with short hair, and a boy seemingly trying to become one with his dark hoodie. 

“Klaus!” shrieks the short one as soon as they’re close enough. Klaus whips around, already grinning.

“Ramona!” he greets them. “And Harley too. What perfect timing. Please, sit down.”

“Oh, we don’t wanna interrupt,” Ramona says with a wide smile. “Just saying hi.”

“Besides, it looks like you’re busy, huh, Klaus?” Harley says, wiggling her eyebrows and gesturing towards Diego. It takes Diego a second to realize what she’s insinuating, but Klaus is already on it. 

“Harley, how dare you try and insinuate things,” he says with mock disapproval. “Diego  _ wishes  _ he could get with me.”

“Gross, man.” Diego screws up his face and kicks Klaus under the table. 

“Ow!” Klaus jerks back and glares at him. He scoffs. “Fine! This is my brother, Diego. Diego, this is Ramona, Harley, and…” He trails off, glancing at the boy. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Klaus!” He gives the boy a sunny smile.

“Tristan,” the boy says, holding up a hand for a quick wave. “I live a couple houses down from Ramona and Harley’s place.”

“Cool,” Klaus says. “Pronouns?” 

Tristan looks slightly shocked, even as Harley elbows him and whispers, “See? Told you he was cool.”

“Uh, he/him?” Tristan answers, almost unsure. 

“Gotcha,” Klaus says and gives him a high five that is quickly returned. 

“So, uh, Klaus,” Diego interrupts. “What—How do you know these kids?” 

“I know lots of people, Diego,” Klaus says. “These kids just happen to be a few of them.” He turns to Harley. “Don’t suppose you have any more brownies for me?” He jokingly holds his hands up in a praying motion and they all laugh. 

“No,” Harley says. “We weren’t expecting to see you here.” 

“Oh, well,” Klaus says. “Foiled again.”

Ramona giggles. “We just snuck out for some greasy diner food.”

Diego is shocked to see Klaus actually look concerned. “Snuck out? Are you guys not getting fed enough at the foster place? Do I gotta smack some sense into someone?”

“Oh, no,” Harley snorts. “It’s just really crowded there.”

“Ah, escaping the chaos, I understand,” Klaus replies. “Y’know, I have six siblings.”

Ramona goggles. “Six?” 

“Damn, I barely survive with the two I’ve got,” Tristan says, reaching up to scratch his neck. 

“Eh, it’s not that bad,” Klaus says, waving it off. “It’s just like a normal sibling relationship. There’s just more of us.” 

Diego turns back to Klaus, utterly lost. Klaus has always been the most vocal about how fucked up their family is. In no way do they have normal sibling relationships. As Ramona begins to speak again, Klaus catches Diego’s eye and minutely shakes his head.

Klaus is… worried about the kids finding out about their family? Since when does he care what other people thin—oh. Diego gets it. Klaus likes these kids and doesn’t want them to think badly of him. He tunes back into the conversation.

“Where have you been anyway, Klaus?” asks Harley, completely innocently. “We haven’t seen you around much.”

Klaus opens his mouth, a lie undoubtedly on the tip of his tongue, but Diego kicks him hard to keep him quiet.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” Diego says, sending a completely fake smile Klaus’s way. “He’s cleaning his act up! He just got out of rehab today.”

In unison, the kids gasp and begin loudly congratulating Klaus, completely ignorant to the death glare Klaus is sending his brother. 

Diego just smiles back. The glare isn’t very scary on someone he’s known since childhood. 


End file.
